I have come to realize that most of my friends are gone, for some reason or another. My friends from high school have drifted away into their own adult lives. Occurring events have led to a cessation of communication between a few others and myself. And then there was this one that I met at work. That one is a whole different story.

He was that guy I could tell anything and everything to, from the most random stupid stuff to cosmic karmic events- we literally talked about everything imaginable. He was that guy I just kind of felt ‘at-home’ with, appreciated and not judged. We really understood each other. He transferred to another store, and then we had a fight and stopped talking for a while. Before the fight, however, I was falling fast for this guy. We finally started talking again a few weeks ago, and he admitted that he felt the same way. We continue to talk about the random and the transcendental. Then the conversation about how to handle our feelings came up. Unfortunately, it was decided that since he had to move back to his hometown (about 3-4 hours away) soon, he didn’t want to start a relationship and not be able to be there when I needed him. Also, we both decided we have some serious improvements to make in ourselves. Needless to say, ‘crushed’ is not a strong enough word to describe how I felt, but it was a logical decision. I hate logic sometimes. That all happened before Thanksgiving. We haven’t really spoken since then, and it’s only been abrupt conversations, not the deep and lengthy ones as before. I know that we can’t be what I had hoped we could be, but I miss talking to him- painfully so. I feel that I might have lost one of the people in my life who understood me the best, and now there is this void.

I tried distractions: work, art, sleep, reading… I even tried going out with a guy I met. We went on two dates and had amazing conversations about literature, dystopian societies, and zombie culture. These were awesome conversations, and he seemed like a great guy- but it didn’t feel that void. He has since stopped responding to my texts, so I’m pretty sure that I screwed that up too. Maybe it doesn’t matter, as it didn’t fix the emptiness, but I liked having someone to talk to like that.

This more than kind of sucks. Some days, I wish I could take a temporary break from life, just to re-center myself and come to terms with things- and today is definately one of those days.

3patch-problem:

candlejack:

hannabalu:

“And he will have his beverage.”

YOU SIR, BARISTA, NO ONE’S IN THE LINE COME ON COME ON~

SWEENEY’S…WAITING…

I WANT…A MOCHA

Oh my god, I’m dying.

AND HE WILL HAVE HIS BEVERAGE

“Here’s your latte, sir.”

“AT LAST! MY ARM IS COMPLETE AGAIN!”

brb dying

This might, in fact, be the best post.

my friends… my caffeinated friends…

I MUST DO THIS! And thus, it shall happen.

(Source: fantasyginge)

Happy Halloween and Blessed Samhain to everyone! May you all have a phenomenal All Hallow’s Eve!